#this is not to say. that the bard didnt try to talk with them at first

[lanternlightss]

For the fanfic wip game: fire

(ask game!)

oo fire, fire !! let’s see ,,,

He goes to fire. The tip of the arrow pops and cracks with Anemo, all of his energy focused on making it … soft.

this one !!! is from an idea ,, where the abyss finds ol’ nameless bard, yoinks them, and sends them on their merry now corrupted way. this is where they find (well, lures would be more accurate…) venti and lumine and fight them. for a majority of the fight, venti ,,, keeps finding himself holding back. he does everything to make sure nothing truly hurts.

[ellitx]

Goodmorning, noon, or evening !! I have a lil question I would like to ask- Since Venti is highly respected by the Witches from the Hexenzirkel, especially by Alice, there’s a saying that goes around that Alice often shares tales of Barbatos to Klee as a form of respect and admiration— I was wondering if Alice ever asked for Venti (and Darling~) to babysit Klee, be parents for one day. Wondering how it goes. Do you think that’s where it stemmed Venti’s obsession of having wisp babies with his darling? 🥹

Babysitting klee is definitely one of venti’s factors for wanting to start a family with his darling!

I mean have you seen him during the first golden apple archipelago??? When klee said that she wanted to be part of dodoco’s family his voice instantly softens???? Like you already know children is one of his weaknesses and he has a SOFT SPOT for them. My man’s gotta make them smile and fulfill their wishes or else he fails as an archon if they cry GRRRR bites the pillow and sobs

I can already see the first thing that came in his mind was his darling 😭

The way he gently talks to klee is melting me ughhh 😩😩 and regardless if she also called him tone deaf bard due to paimon’s influence he just brushed it off and played along hngggg VENTI’S LITERALLY THE GREENEST AMONG GREEN.

HE IS PREPARED TO BE YOUR HUSBAND

HE IS PREPARED TO BECOME A FATHER FOR YOUR CHILD

Who else is better on taking on a such a big responsibility but none other than venti???

Heck if you tell him you’re pregnant he’s 100% excited about it. Period.

No doubts.

No hesitation.

Nada.

Venti is ON BOARD and he will do his very best to keep you and his baby safe and well

Every time children interacts with him he just has this instinct to protect them and his father mode is activated. Venti didnt even hesitate to call dvalin to give them a ride to GAA for fucks sake UGHHHH

Now here’s the exciting part. Ever since venti had a suspicion alice was the one who set up the GAA adventure for little klee, he just had this urge to call alice with the dodocommunication device. That if she needed any help in babysitting klee, she can always ask him and his darling for help.

He’s trying his best not to sound so eager and yknow just barbatos offering a helping hand to a hexenzirkel member so their relationship is still good and all

Oh alice immediately knew.

She knew you and the anemo archon are together so this makes it even more interesting.

Honestly she wouldn’t mind at all and she’ll indulge in playing as the love cupid for a while as long as klee is safe from harm. So when alice prepared the second summer adventure for klee (sumeru summer event), she asked venti to babysit her.

Venti’s eyes glimmered in excitement and he prepared EVERYTHING. He even had to drop his other plans and invitations to sing at taverns.

He has his priorities straight.

He will spend this vacation with his lovely darling and babysit klee. He gets to spend an alone time with you and both of you get to take care of the spark knight as per alice’s request

Knowing klee, he expected— and warned you— it might get a bit chaotic. Despite being a walking ball of chaos, she had this way of making everything feel like home.

And oh, what a chaotic delight she was.

Upon entering the mirage, klee had already darted ahead of you two, ready for an adventure. She squealed, arms spread like wings as she ran toward some suspiciously bouncy flora.

“Klee! Watch your step!” you called, instinctively reaching out, already knowing it was useless. She’s already running ahead, yet somehow you could still hear her giggles fleeting.

Venti walked beside you, chuckling softly as he adjusted the bag slung over his shoulder stuffed with clothes, snacks, and bandages. He may have overpacked, but it’s better to come prepared on certain situations than not.

“Energetic as ever. Klee never gets tired at all,” he remarked before taking your hand in his. “Come on. Let’s look for her before she does anything dangerous.”

There were some moments that made the whole trip feel like a dream. Like when klee fell asleep on venti’s lap after a long day of adventuring. His fingers carded through her hair while you leaned against his shoulder, both of you watching the stars peek through the canopy.

“She’s so full of energy, isn’t she?” you murmured, half-asleep.

“She is,” venti whispered. But when he looked down at you, the expression on his face wasn’t just fondness for klee. It was filled with warmth and love that brimmed with unspoken things. “She really makes me wonder… what it would be like...”

You blinked up at him, curious. “What what would be like?”

He hesitated, lips parting but no words coming out at first. Then, so softly you almost missed it, he said, “Having a home. A real one. With you.”

You didn’t say anything right away. You just looked at him and he feared maybe he said too much. But your hand found his as your fingers intertwined, with you leaning your head against his again.

“Let’s talk about that more… after this,” you whispered.

That night, venti didn’t sleep. He just held you both close to him. One hand cradled the sleeping spark knight and the other rested against your back. He listened to your soft breathing, think about his future with you and what it would be like to hear tiny footsteps running across their home early in the morning.

Far away, a mysterious figure watched through a dodo-scope, simply sipping her tea as she smiled at the three sleeping figures.

“Ah, young love. Such fun to meddle in.”

[noellefan101]

Nick-Names - Genshin

Characters: Xiao, Scaramouche, Venti, Lyney, Albedo, Kaveh, Thoma, Diluc, Childe, Heizou, Kazuha x GN reader

Warnings: a lot of cheesy and weird nicknames, if you dont like some for a specific char you're welcome to send me your ideas, could be modern au, established relationship

(you can clearly see that i prob put in an OC, so im so sry, but some i just also really head-canon as the "would rather date a loving person than be loving" if you get what i mean)

Summary: both of your pet names for each other, some silly some sweet

Note: you can really tell where i had no ideas for nicknames. and ik i use both 'pet names' and 'nicknames' but im just kinda stupid and didnt care to change stuff when i was already done with it. also i may just have a problem but why does princess sound 10x better than prince, no matter your gender, anyway love youuuu

Xiao

He will always say what is on his mind, and he did the same thing when you brought up using pet names. he wasn't very fond of the idea, and sometimes he still isn't(depending on the situation). but he has gotten used to it more over time, like when you burst open his door and to talk to him while using the most absurd nicknames he´s ever heard of.

__

Pet names for you: lovely, qinxing, [shorter version of your name](sry people with short names, i fell ya)

Pet names for him: babe, baby, cutie, dove, birdy, my alatus

Scaramouche

Will never admit he likes being called weird things by you, EVER. if he did then he was drunk and he was totally lying. and that counts with calling you stuff as well, he would rather die than admit he doesn't just call you that bc you wanted him to.

__

Pet names for you: idiot, princess/prince, dear

Pet names for him: smoochi, love

Venti

He was probably the one who suggested the idea at first, like two days/weeks (seconds) into your relationship. i also think he already had at least one nickname for you when you were "just friends", in the crushing phase, and has some for all his other friends as well(prob also his teachers if school au, lul).

__

Pet names for you: windblume, cecilia, [insert the cheesiest thing you can think of], my love

Pet names for him: venni, my dear, sweetheart, my bard

Lyney

He would be over the moon if you gave him a nickname, and would instantly be looking like a tomato too. would increase its usage by tenfolds if you said you liked one of his nicknames. you cannot stop him even if you somehow got 'Father' involved.

__

Pet names for you: babe, mon trésor, mon amour, beautiful

Pet names for him: sweetie, amour, lyn

Albedo

He didn't really see a use for it at first, finding it kind of useless. but sooner or later realized how happy you looked when he had somehow slipped up and called you 'love' when he needed your assistance. and later just didn't bother to stop.

__

Pet names for you: love, my cecelia, my dear

Pet names for him: 'bedo, lovely, (my) genius

Kaveh

He LOVES nick-names, probably made one for everyone in the friend group(yk alhaitham, tighnari n cyno), and would be delighted to make some up for you.

__

Pet names for you: beloved, lovely

Pet names for him: baby,

Thoma

He really wanted to try using them, yes he calls Ayato and Ayaka my lord and my lady, but its just not the same as calling your lover something sweet. and good luck if you don't like it, he's keeping those names forever.

__

Pet names for you: babe, sweetheart, baby, sleepyhead, lovely

Pet names for him: babe, love

Diluc

He honestly wasn't a fan at first, he hated it even. but of course, you being you, insisted on using names for him, and encouraged him to at least try to use some for you. so he kinda got into routine with it.

__

Pet names for you: my love, my dear

Pet names for him: dear, red head, love, my hero

Childe

Of course, he would use nick-names and such, he uses nick-names for the traveler and paimon, so of course he would be using such with you. honestly how could he not, especially when you're looking all cute cuddled up in his hoodie.

__

Pet names for you: my love, beloved, cupcake

Pet names for him: ginger, ma strong man(only for teasing purposes), hubby

Heizou

He'll almost never call you by your actual name, he didnt even when you two were just friends, only in the most serious of times would he do that. so it was no surprise that when you actually started dating, they could only become sweeter and cheesier as time goes by.

__

Pet names for you: princess/prince, baby, beautiful, (my) sunshine

Pet names for him: hei, zou-zou, babe

Kazuha

He loves it bc no matter what you call him he'll be happy. and he makes sure you have "some" as well, and i guess he just can't stop coming up with more, and they're always more cheesy than the last. you don't know how he does it, but maybe its just his poetry skills coming through.

__

Pet names for you: dove, (my) love, sweetheart, sweetie, my dear

Pet names for him: kazu, dear

thank u for reading whatever this thing is(totally not a filler bc i habe been working on that streamer au for too long), luv ya-Masterlist

You are welcome to reblog and like any of my posts, but you CAN NOT translate, copy or hate on anybody for liking my posts

[tubbytarchia]

UM. NEW JIM STREAM. NEW SMP. I FEEL LIKE I MISSED AN ANNOUNCEMENT OR SOMETHING.

members are fwhip jimmy lizzie mog sausage oli rendog katherine pix shubble scott eloise zombiecleo. modded smp. stream only i think. fantasy themed.

he logs in and has to choose an origin. seems very dnd-esque? but ive never played dnd so. im guessing here.

he spends 10 minutes choosing just to settle on half elf. he gets to pick 2 skills so he picks quicker regen and most movements wont trigger sculk sensors.

he spawns in :D cleo is there :D but jim hasnt set up voice mod so. they dont talk yet. cleo just starts circling him and its really funny to me

HE GETS SET UP. cleos immediately like youre not small :( (her chat told her he would be) and he was like. well being small is fun for a stream and then it gets a bit annoying doesnt it. which i have Thoughts about

they spawned in like a tower thing. cleo goes down and dies instantly to a bunch of mobs. after cleo dies jimmy goes down and also dies instantly. theres some weird spawn protection thing going on meaning they literally cant beat the mobs

jimmy experiences Modded Minecraft and gets scared. why do his buttons do things. why is there things everywhere. his keybinds have been super messed up so hes having A Time

sausage died and cuz of voice mod he screamed and cut out immediately which is my favourite thing. the entire smp is a mess theres like a million mobs. ive never seen jimmy rage this hard at dying before

fwhip joins and he chose one of the small classes. jimmy starts making fun of him so fwhip crits him like 3 times. jimmy then steals fwhips wood and fwhip tries to kill him again.

it takes establishing that jimmys a half-elf and sausage is a high-elf before the elf superiority starts.

katherine joins and shes ALSO a half elf. sausage starts calling him their daddy. its been 20 minutes

jim and oli meet up (and katherine follows) and olis like. im gonna show you my secret if u give me 6 things. so jimmy gives him 6 things and turns out oli can. go invisible????? and jim and katherine are like :o and are surprised he didnt pick bard. olis like well i already did that. im a mushroom guy now. and takes off his armour to show his skin (he says something about it being similar to his larp outfit which is cool) and jimmys like whats with the glasses. and oli full on whines and goes JIMMMMMMMH :( theyre my mushroom glasses.

they both die within a minute of exploring. cant say its unexpected. they get their stuff back easily enough though

after talking to like everyone jim splits off. he finds a zombie playing bagpipes and i lost my shit

it just played folk music the entire time he was trying to kill it

meets up with everyone. they talk for a while but nothing super notable to be said

(jimmy got up to get a snack and the stream chat started talking to his chair. it made me giggle)

he got super fast shoes. everyone is jealous of him. bitches love him and his super fast shoes.

i look away for like 5 minutes and hes now. wearing a whoopee cushion on his head. and a crown!

jimmy and sausage beat up a boss and it drops a ring. sausage picks it up and asks jimmy to marry him. jimmy IMMEDIATELY rejects him. no hesitation

^ little chicken hat :) cleo has a little pig hat and they match and its really cute.

jimmy gets a big axe and is like omg its so big!! and cleo AND sausage immediately jump on like oh tell me how you got it so big jimmy. and hes like guys. guys please.

sausage gets an ancient gong with unreadable runes on it. he obviously hits it multiple times. nothing happens at least.

they find ren and he has a little sheep hat so now 3 of them are matching. sausage feels very left out.

jimmy and oli meet up. oli does a bit of being like.. the spirit of the forest. oli gives jim a sapling and jim gives oli an invisibility cape. oli ends the bit and comes back as himself. he has a bow on his lower back and jimmys like wow you have a bow on your back. oli calls his ass big and juicy. frowns

oli tries to hit jimmy like 20 times and its just not working. jimmy is invincible i think.

oli and jim go to a village and make a bit of stealing childrens lunch money. idk why but they are. it doesnt work.

they meet up with lizzie and oli does his "spirit of the forest" bit again. he starts to give lizzie a riddle and says "what is wet and long- and not dry-" then gets confused and just. doesnt finish it at all.

lizzie mentions jims large weapon. jimmy voice "nothings too big for me" oli voice "nothings too big for jim" why have 2 separate groups made the exact same joke.

lizzie crashes and oli calls her and it goes to voicemail and he leaves a message and he ends it with a bunch of chappell roan song names. when jimmy doesnt know what he means olis immediately like THIS GUY IS NOT AN ALLY.

^ like 5 minutes after that they kiss so.

jim gives lizzie an ocean necklace after she logs in again. crazy

oli and jim are potentially basing together. we MIGHT be back.

uhhhhh stream end :p double upload on sunday (one main channel one roblox channel) not sure if im gonna summarise all these streams if only bc i have. No Idea whats going on. i dont understand modded mc at all. despite that it is a chill vod if u need background noise for anything

YAYYY JIMMY STREAM SUMMARY yeah this SMP came out of nowhere. I heard nothing about it. Fun that Rendog is here though!! And Cleo!!

"well being small is fun for a stream and then it gets a bit annoying doesnt it." OFF TO A NOT GOOD START GRRRRRRRR JIMMY..........my son..... ESMP2 haunts him... And then he goes and makes fun of fWhip LMAO. Not going to fault him but also not going to fault fWhip for almost killing Jimmy a few times, deserved

Sausage's humor making me want to end myself as usual. But Jimmy immediately rejecting his marriage proposal did put a smile on my face. If it weren't for moments like this to balance out Sausage just. the way he is. I would actually be infuriated if I ever watched SMP streams he's in. Sorry Sausage fans

"jimmys like wow you have a bow on your back. oli calls his ass big and juicy. frowns" ?????? Oli?? ok whatever its. whatecver

"Oli starts to give lizzie a riddle and says "what is wet and long- and not dry-" then gets confused and just. doesnt finish it at all." ok thats funny lmao. hurt himself in his own confusion . deserved

Omg Oli and Jim kiss though <3 and them basing together potentially yes please

Ok yeah that sounds both chill and very confusing. I also don't understand heavily modded mc. But why is their humor sense just sex jokes again can they sprinkle in some other jokes every once in awhile PLEASE IM BEGGING

[sburbian-mechanics]

So like um We kind of have a problem.

Our Guy (not godtiered), He went to His um Planet World Queen Denizen, Nix and asked for guidance, and She like um told him (very. straightforwardly. (Im jealous because My Stupid Guy only speaks in stupid fuvking riddles) to help one of those um four Black Chess Guys, the "Little One Who Likes To Dance" with something. It doesn't matter with what tho um, because of course He didnt (He could easily do that tho Hes stupidly picky and helps only Those that "He Can Read" or whatever, it's like His fuvking thing) and the um Other Three Chess Dudes died, because of that.

Anyway um long story short our Blood Prince Guy (godtiered), Shes "friends" with Chess Guys and because of that Picky Guy and Blood Guy had an argument and yada yada BOOM Picky Guy is dead (thanks for nothing), Prince Guy is HELLA mad and "The Little Chess Guy" got the fuvking Black Queens ring thing and um like… Other Froggernet Guys have some "guides" for that, but like most of them are garbage fuvking jokes (because ha ha Funny Little Guy). He and the Prince are NO. JOKE. NOW. Please help,,, We only have one godtiered Guy left, a Heart Page Guy, who was Picky Nothing Guys Partner and They are really um… sad lets say ha…ha.

Please, what are the Little Guys weaknesses (um do not worry about the prototypings, We know what powers He should have etc, We only need info about The Guy) and what can We do to stop the Prince (I know You don't know Her, but like maybe it's like a um common thing with Princes?? idk???)

Oh God. I know what you're talking about- CD right? Yeah, don't underestimate him. He has like a billion bombs and slight Doom affinity, so if you have an anti-Doom weapon or something with enough Life charge that might help. He is Suuuuuuupper unpredictable- I think he's a Bard? So the most effective strats are to either calm him down or turn the chaos in your favor. Unless you have a high-level Mind player or something, you won't be able to stop the chaos, so just focus on going with the flow. Don't try to overthink it, but do try to keep your limits intact. Remember that fleeing is strategic sometimes and that you can't fight this guy forever. However, he has lower health than the other Derse Agents, so shouldn't take As Much hits to take down. Compared to other Ringbearers of course. Oh, and don't forget about the bombs! Explosion Protection Equipment will be essential, as well as stuff to put out fires. Things will get messy quick, and he's fast, so try to put out the fires and not only focus on CD. You need to remember that only targeting him will end in failure. But don't let him outlast you- or else there will be too much fire. He has energy for days, so pace yourself and try to corner him where he can't take control of the arena. That's difficult with the bombs, but that's just something you will have to deal with.

As for the Prince, that is actually something I can help with! Their playstyle/powers are pretty well defined, and although I can't predict how they will use them, I can at least tell you what they are. Princes focus on Execution- or single-target attacks. They do a lot of damage, but not a lot of spread attacks. They'll probably only focus on one of you at a time, so that's a plus! Blood Is a bit more vauge, and I'm not really the best with it, but I do know that they like talking. They will at least try to convince you to give up or doubt your intentions. Don't fall for it! Strike 'em while they monolouge! Or, given the Page of Heart, you have a pretty decent chance to convince 'em to have a change of heart. So maybe focus on that? Killing a friend is always hard, and to be avoided if possible. Of course, it is not always possible, so If they are really stubborn, don't hesitate. You have all the time to regret it later, but focus on what will help the most people. Good luck. You'll need it.

---------<I>---------

(Should I have said that? Is it really alright to murd- of course its okay. Bad, but sometimes you need to do it. You need to be safe. Help others. Don't look back now.)

[pespillo]

Hello! I hope u don't mind my questions, but regarding the Emperor's Acolyte AU, is it possible for you to elaborate further about Raine's relationship with King and his position in the Kingdom of the Red Sun? And what of Edric and Emira and their position in the moon court (i think?) I absolutely LOVE the concept and the possible exploration in the day-to-day life of the people stuck within the kingdom, INCLUDING that incredibly interesting play! How did King even find Luz's manuscript, anyway?

first of all just posted smth explaining the militia so i think thats a good point on where to start thinking abt everyone´s places in all this vv

second of all , King´s been around Raine for as long as they been turned into head of the bard coven , King always holds a certain curiosity for everyone in the castle ,but his interest turned further when he took notice of Eda´s relationship with them when he was "kidnapped" in the Owl House for a bit (if you check my #emperor acolyte au tag for a sec youll see a small fic of a scene between luz n king transcurring at that time)

Since King starts seeing the Owl Lady as a maternal figure for him (it sorta starts off as wanting to get something Luz has but really, King just needs honest affection and Eda´s doesnt feel like it has any ulterior motive) , King sorta turns Raine into a royal "advisor" bard figure but in reality he sorta rlly just wants to matchmaking them n Eda so they can form his own idea of a family ,King likes to hear their music before sleeping and they unequivocally bond over extremely similar trauma in the hands of the Emperor´s Coven, to the point it makes Raine feel extremely guilty they didnt try getting him outta it much sooner considering they are realizing this is a 9 yr old whos been treated like a dog by the worse person in the Isles not even allowed to talk to other people besides the Emperor n Kikimora, in a way this guilt drives Raine further to not leave the castle to the small rebellion that Darius n Eber been forming.

Speaking of Darius n Eber, Darius n King has a small confrontation/argument that lead to their leave, Eber at first didnt actually mind the way King was running things since it was all sorta thrilling and battle oriented , but since hes inseparable from Darius he aint gnna be ditching his buddy ya know. Darius was just trying to get information of his old mentor, because King KNOWS about the way he died because Belos told him , at least his own version of it, but the more heated Darius got at King´s avoidance of the details, he ended up saying something that made the kid snap at him like "You care more about your mentor more than Hunter, where is he now? what would your mentor think about the way you treated him up until now?" which pretty much shut down that whole conversation, parting ways.

Regarding Luz´s manuscript, it was unfinished, she wanted to join that writer´s competition just as she did in the original episode but some other adventure ended up calling up to her ,so she just sorta forgot abt it or decided it leave it for other day. When the Owl House got raided by the Emperor´s coven n everything was sent to a warehouse, King came up to that warehouse to get Owl Lady´s stuff n move it into his new castle basically , he came upon it while just looking thru Luz stuff n decided to read it through because hes nosy ( he did the same with eda´s diary before), he´s never rlly been allowed to write his own stuff even when he was taught to write and read, so he decided to take it upon himself to make it "his" novel, and subsequently his play , as a way to vent all out his feelings of the world , his feelings towards Luz and everything else, plus to make a big statement culturally for the Isles.

for Edric n Emira, they were dragged into the Moon Court for Collector´s favor , because they were essentially living around them for a good while before turning into King´s Right Hand . Odalia´s been disposed off but not killed (because Emira convinced em to Not Kill their mom as much as the twins n Amity hate her because thats already so much trauma), Alador has run off to join Darius growing group as a way to find a solution to this whole, mess.

[slymewitch]

I’ve been bottling up a lot of my feelings for a while now and I think I need to just talk about them. Im sorry if Im being a bother.

@f4y3w00d5 @gobodegoblin @monsterfucker-research-wizard @vivithecatgirl @the-necrobotanist @combustion-witch @good-wizard @ash-the-tiefling @the-moth-wizard-of-mayhem @drew-bard-for-hire @mango-lord-of-poison @selldemapplez @aroace-wizard @terrencetheshark14 @drewp1 @mersinia

I want to rp with you guys but I’m still scared. Back when I did do rp I felt like I was always either too slow to keep up or that I would be left behind. It’s none of you guys’ fault I just suck at stuff. But I’m ashamed to admit that part of me was jealous of how well you guys could roleplay, and how much you all contributed to the world. But it felt like whenever I tried to do something, anything, it would already be too late. Like I’d try to help solve a problem and by the time I actually got the chance to say anything the problem would be solved already and I’d feel useless. And even when I started my own stuff it would suck, and I always ended up retconning it, and I feel so deep in my own bullshit that I don’t want to put you guys through the trouble of cleaning it up. I thought if I died in rp and there was no more pressure to rp anymore, that I’d be happier, but now I’m even more jealous, and I have nothing to talk about with anyone. But after a month, I know I’ll never be able to catch up. There’s more people who I don’t recognize now and I’m scared they’ll hate me. And every day feels even more too late to start again, I don’t want to go back to being dead weight like I always was and knew I’ll be again, but the jealousy I feel eats away at me. I don’t want to be on this break anymore but I know if I come back I’ll be useless just like I was before. I want to have fun with you all but I’m worried that it’ll come at the cost of your fun. This shouldn’t be as big of a deal to me as it is but it just feels that way to me. I’ve been left out of things my whole life and the one time I’m actually welcomed into something I suck at it and my own fear drives me away from it. With how much I’ve been excluded it’s almost triggering how much I felt excluded before and exclusing myself on my own terms only made me feel worse. I’m scared and angry and I have no right to feel either. I’m angry that I feel so jealous and I feel selfish for even wanting to come back. Even for this post Im angry at myself because I feel like I’m dampening the experience for all of you by exposing you to my pathetic feelings. And even more than that I’m scared. I’m scared of losing you all. After I died I just stopped talking here mostly and I feel like a piece of shit for that but without rp I didnt know what else to talk about, and so I feel like I abandoned you guys. I’m scared that you’ll all just forget about me, or that if I come back you’ll wish I wasn’t here. I’m scared that the new rpers will wish I wasn’t here. I’m scared you’re all happier without me. And I’m scared that by reading this you’ll think less of me, that you’ll think I’m blaming you all and that you’ll leave me behind because you’ll realize from this that I’m crazy and that I’m not worth the effort just like I know I’m not. Please don’t think less of me. I love you guys. I’m sorry for all this trouble, and I’m sorry that I need to ask for help. Please help me. I don’t know how but please help me. I don’t think I can help myself because I’ve already tried.

[trenchgardens-ooc-ooc-ooc-ooc]

isn't . isn't that incest???

isnt what.

oh Zjoxoa and Tirent? yeah, as close as trolls can get to human conceptions of incest, theyre genetically identical, theres no way that wouldnt affect any hypothetical descendants. So yeah.

Zjoxoa's a wierd little freak and i needed to remind myself that lest i make him too normal. Everyone hates it.

Nothing like. Happens. If thats what youre worried about. Tirent and Zjoxoa meet, they talk until TIrent gets pissed off, Tirent tries to intimidate them, Zjoxoa flirts, Tirent nopes out of there, just a little more convinced that this is literally hell.

Zjo's wierd little freak undercurrent to his normal guy crust manifests in a lot of ways. Beforan highblood culture didnt just not affect him unlike some people (Atchab Moibie)/hj. The flirting with a young alternate self of his ancestor isnt really a way Beforus fucked him up specifically but it is part of his character.

With how Diazni acts, being a cullee of Beforan Tirent Bawurz, you can tell what The Skeptîîc is like. Zjo's got the curse of having a really fucking famous ancestor, one who is loathed by most of the people in the circles he stays in. He has a bit of a, 'white boy joker moment,' if you get what i mean. He feels ostracized for this like. Him specific original sin of being genetically identical to famous awful person he was raised to aspire to be, and part of him finds it easier to snap back to that ideology, maybe going further than he ever was before, than to keep weathering all of the jokes about his ancestor. His willingness to flirt with an alt version of his ancestor is one of the ways that his fucking wierd parasocial relationship with his ancestor manifests after his death.

So yeah. Zjoxoa Bawurz is like... The rich white kid who you can almost forget is an old money baby, until he says or does something so alien you have a triple take just for it to process in your brain that he was fundamentally born into a system with a different set of rules. totally not based on anyone i know. Anyone whose name starts with an E.

He and his dancestor both walk thin lines of Not being an absolute piece of shit-- In Bard's College au anyway.

Tirent's story is one about him grappling with the vast differences between the fledgling ideology that Plexus incepted into his brain, and that crocomom fostered just enough before vanishing, and the moral compas of the clown faith, which tells him he has a moral obligation to God to kill. 3 of his 4 friends.

Zjoxoa's story is one about him grappling with the vast differences between the ideologies of his friends, and the community that accepted him after he lost faith, and indeed inspired him to lose faith, and his own nature as someone partially outside of the perview. An old money baby trying to be friends with people who arent his peers like that, and force him to think about how little he deserves his everything, that theres nothing special about him that makes him inherently more worth the stuff he was just handed at hatching, and his constant temptation to just. Snap back to a deluded and far more comfortable worldview.

Anyway yeah thats why Zjo flirts with his teenage dad.

TL;DR Everyone wishes he didnt do that so they could go back to pretending he's not an old money wierd-little-freak.

[solar-halos]

ballad appreciation post

i’m so happy :D. i’ve watched ballad twice this week. the second time i watched it w my brothers i didn’t have anything to say about it bc i was mostly just on edge about not getting kicked out of the theatre but since i teased a breakup over this Boyfriend was on his best behavior so i actually got to watch the movie without anyone asking a million question a scene. in related news we have another lucy gray truther on our side. here are some of my thoughts

1. tom blyth opening screen …. i still got jumpscared seeing him in the nude

2. the way they pronounce lucy grays name still catches me off guard. i’ve been ignoring the “i” completely and just say “bard” in my head (yk bc she’s The Bard). with that being said i know the mayor was in like 2 scenes but i think he did a really good job picking out lucy grays name he looked crazy

3. hunter schafer is my eyebrow inspo. also i’ve mentioned this before w the bathing suits having a 1920s and 50s vibe but she’s giving 1940s to me. but obviously glamor 1940s not war ridden 1940s

4. watching this w someone who hasn’t read the book is so enjoyable. when lucy gray dropped the snake down mayfairs shirt Boyfriend got SO tense “waitwait did she just try to fuckin murder her??” god forbid women do anything

5. okay sorry but the first time i watched it i was trying not to smile (in a laugh-y way) when lucy grays singing part came on. when i read it i thought that part ate but actually seeing it was so different for some reason. i think this feeling might be amplified if you’ve never read the book bc my sister felt the exact same way she said it was kinda fuckin cringe. idk if it was just bc we were at home or she was just feeling silly but she started singing that one camp rock song that’s like “we can’t back down.” which ok yeah that was kinda lucy grays song in a nutshell but it kinda did piss me off bc the “you can kiss my ass!!!!” part was coming on soon and i was stressing over them missing it. also didnt lucy gray have a full on dance break in the book?? god. they should have kept that in

6. okay that scene where she bowed and d12’s nasty ass coal industry being in the background is still one of my fav scenes. ugh loved it

7. wovey idk what it was this time but when she was like “im rlly good at climbing” i almost burst into tears. guys she’s really good at climbing

8. hunter schafer literally killed this. i’d argue that tigris is just as much of a product of her environment as snow is but i don’t rlly know how to articulate that

9. speaking of the reading vs watching thing i mentioned earlier: it rlly jumped out with grandmaam. idk why but when i was reading it grandmaam was SO scary and intimidating to me but watching her so frail and skinny and slightly senile talk about how lucy gray is a killer just seemed so crazy. especially since we know snow believes her

10. “they’re gonna get bombed aren’t they” wtf i walk into every movie clueless how are ppl straight up predicting entire events. but again w the reading vs watching i was GAGGED when they got bombed in the book but in the movie it seemed weird?? like “get the camera on her” and then it just feels like they’re trying to take up space until the actual bombs land. but whatever im being so bitchy i wasn’t surprised bc i literally knew it was gonna happen

11. “i want coral making my latte” and i want tanner on the grill

12. i think it was tanner, but i rlly liked his outfit. i liked all their outfits actually. i’ve been watching so many reels abt the costume designer explaining her inspo for the costumes (like tigris and her 1940s glamor thing going on)

13. okay seriously why did they cut out the kiss… and then when they actually did kiss why did they have lucy gray pull away at first…… i know francis lawrence saying this was a love story was icky but he did a bad job at portraying that so maybe we were worried for nothing (jk we were worried for all the right reasons bc if i had a nickel for every time someone said “i thought they were gonna get married!” about lucy gray and snow i’d have two nickels. which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice). also not to be a hater but snowbaird fans actually fucking irritate me. like the fans that are like “but what if it was wholesome 🥺🥺” what if lucy gray tried to kill him and he tried to kill her back? what if he managed to track her down and she bit him again? what if they hate each other so much that they’re only together bc they wanna see the other person suffer? what then

14. tbh seeing billy taupe made me feel a bit guilty 😭😭. almost terminated my ao3 acc but i get that feeling every time someone mentions something im obsessed w in a very casual way so it wasn’t rlly that serious. also someone either on tiktok or insta was like “was i the only person who preferred snows curls to his buzz cut?” and i genuinely couldn’t tell if they were joking bc like. everyone prefers snows curls to his buzz cut. even snow prefers his curls to his buzzcut. with that being said billy taupe needed to lose the cap

15. ngl the ballad of lucy gray baird actually did make me cry a bit… lucy gray was only 16 she needed to be on tumblr

16. where’d she get that guitar from tho

17. i wish they would have kept in the tributes death parade. that part was icky

18. okay there was a scene where lucky had a drink and then he flicked something off it and pup (i think that was his name) flinched cos it landed on his neck that was so fucking funny i hate that this was the first time i noticed it

19. okay seriously why did they make dill get poisoned. also that cornocopia scene. hmph

20. the first time i watched it i remembered being really confused why lucky called mizzen Merciless Mizzen. but omg after he tried chasing lucy gray down in that vent i understood that was crazy of him. and it did seem like he was an actual teenager which actually made it more unsettling. i feel like rachel zegler has a baby face (i actually think she was 17 in west side story and she looks the exact same now) but mizzen’s actor sing singing her name was perfect

21. lamina at the beam… didn’t she manage to kill someone in the book??

22. “does this mean we get to go home??” god i wish

23. but also “please lucy i can’t have killed all of them for nothing” i liked that she didn’t call her lucy gray that was a nice touch. but also. what a crazy thing to ask. i wonder if she thought lucy gray would be chill w that

24. take this with a grain of salt i haven’t read the books in so long but when snow snuck up on lucy gray in the meadow didn’t she level her guitar at him and then be like “sorry lol i still have one foot in the arena :P” they should have had her hit him in the face w it

25. the old therebefore still hits. i wish they would have included scenes where snow is shown to genuinely dislike her songs like in the books. in the movies he seems more disinterested in what she’s doing which is still bad but also it doesn’t seem as overt as him literally hating on her for no fuckin reason. which i guess is bc we have no insight into his head, like i think someone pointed out that in the book and movie he cried over sejanus being dead but in the book we know it’s bc he was scared it was gonna be him next but in the movie it just looked like he was sad. which i get it he’s perceived as nice by other people but the audience is not supposed to be other ppl we know what his motives are. im not sure how that’d be solved, cos i guess it would be pretty annoying to have him voice his thoughts and you also don’t wanna spoon feed ur audience but like. idk. seems like something you’d wanna make super clear bc to me it didn’t seem like you were supposed to like / sympathize with him, but the way it was done kinda seemed half baked

26. speaking of that… Boyfriend did not get the memo that snow was fucking crazy. “i thought he was gonna marry lucy gray in d12” WHY? like why would you even think that. were u not paying attention during the hunger games trilogy marathon where would lucy gray fit into that. since my sister thought the exact same thing she tried being like “see? it’s confusing” but it actually isn’t. that’s still a better reaction than my brother he was actually being a fucking weirdo about it cos when snow found lucy grays scarf in the woods and then the snake bit him this mfer went “she tried to kill him” no!!! but i think there might be something to be said about how snow, completely sober, came to the same conclusion as my brother, who was so high he couldn’t even remember who sejanus was

27. okay that’s a lot of sibling lore so atp i think i better end the post. bye

[liittlebird]

Im the main one who would get more into the roleplay sections of our dnd games, so me being the one with the high charisma stat i think helped our dm a lot so he didnt have to fight the rest of our party to get in character, haha, so i get what you mean!

FFXIV is really fun! Its an mmorpg where there is classes and races and stuff like dnd where stats you get from armor help you out, but if you just wanted to hang around the main cities and talk to people thats how some people play as well. The story is great too, maybe a bit slow in the beginning, but it definitely picks up later. Theres also this entire mini game area where every 20 minutes its a new mini game like parkour, running away from falling bamboo, etc. Idk what you play on, but if it’s console the controls might take some getting used to. I heard they are much better on pc though.

The bard class has special access to play instruments however you want so sometimes you will just be passing by a crowd in one of the main cities just gathering around this tiny man with a duck head on playing Megalovania on the flute. - ☄️ Anon

That makes sense! My first experience playing DnD was with my dad and his friends (aka a ton of people who were like 35+ years old) and I didn't know them (or the game) very well at the start so I never wanted to speak because I was incredibly nervous the entire time we were playing. I love the roleplay aspect of the game though! It's so fun when you can really get into character and sometimes people end up saying the most ridiculous things.

Ooh that sounds interesting! I'll have to look into in it, I don't usually play MMOs because other people stress me out (story of my life) but I might have to give it a try for the rpg aspect of it because that's my favorite type of game. And I'm a PC player! I'm so bad with console controllers because the fine movements are really hard for me (and the hand eye coordination tbh), I liked the more controlled movement of a keyboard and mouse for sure

That's such a fun mechanic, I love when games have that! And I love the chaos it causes

[tears-of-boredom]

ok ok im gonna fucking vomit about baldurs gate now, beware of spoilers and shit.

so. first of all. baldurs gate is kind of the whole reason i broke windows lmao. that and trying to adjust the gamma levels on my shitty hp monitor. like, I found the game right? on gog. just. there. and I literally the whole time did not believe it was legit. literally only after i was in the game did i believe it. and I was struggling cuz the rar file took a shit ton of space, and i couldnt extract it because the rar file itself was the thing taking up all the space. thankfully windows saved the rar file when I reset, so literally the first thing i did was re-download 7zip and extract it. the feeling when i could delete the giant ass rar file was so satisfying. anyways yeah so. to the actual game.

so. i spent probably like 3 hours creating my character. they're a dwarf and a druid. and theyre only a druid because no other class had efficiency in sickles. i really fucking wanted those sickles. i need to look at the feats more closely because there might be one that gives you efficiency in sickles, so I can change my class to one I like more. i mean. i dont hate being a druid. but I like the uhh, sorcerer was it? i like the idea of that more. oh and also being a munk seems cool. basically i just want to reconsider my choices without the sickles being a factor there. oh and bard of course. as soon as I found out that sickles were a potential weapon, i so wanted to just be Sarmenti from darkest dungeon. but we'll have to see what i do.

so, the gameplay. first thought. what the fuck is going on. the ui was so foreign to me i was so confused. but in the end it took me like two minutes to be comfortable with it. i still really want to have control over the Y-axis of the camera, but if it must be so, I can handle it. and.

okay I cannot talk about these things in the order they happened because. Lae'zel is apparently into me. what the fuck. i literally thought she hated me and gave up on even befriending her. it was just so fucking out of knowhere man. i was so surprised. like I had given up on thinking of her that way completely. because she was clearly not interested. and her explanation. like i guess it makes sense but girl. give me a couple hints before hand alright? you can't just say that out of knowhere my guy. like jesus. like, I could not accept her in the end, because i was not sure if she was asking for a deeper relationship or just to have some fun. and the situation being what it was, i could not with confidence promise her a deeper relationship. because she has just lowkey been an asshole. and didnt agree with me on much either.

on the other hand. um. astarion. i. i feel like making a character a vampire is cheating. like straight up. I was so obsessed with Wyll, and astarion just seemed like kind of a rude person. but then. then when he's really hungry. out of all the people at the camp. he comes to me. and yeah yeah he did try to just drink out of me without my permission. but who am i to shame a hungry man. and sorry the scene? when I permit him to drink? and he does? dude. its fucking cheating to make a vampire. and then. and then he says my blood tastes really good. and then he says that he hasnt done that before. revealing just how desperate for blood he mustve been to approach me in the first place. and. and sorry but why does the game give you so many options to not like it. like sorry who doesnt want this man to suck their blood. like omg. the fact that you suffer from the blood loss? the fact that he gains bonuses from it? dear god. I. making him a vampire was cheating alright. straight up cheating. so so cheating. i wonder how monogamous the game forces you to be.

oh and the story parts or whatever? well. I keep having to ressurrect party members because i keep running into death traps. or creating them for myself. but im going to steal that idol from the grove druids. like maybe i should make my character a rouge or something because I literally want to steal every chance i get. literally no other reason than to just do it. and side note. is it spelled "rouge"? because i keep reading it like, like french for "red". but I cant think of other spellings for it.

tbh that wasnt anything about the story. i mean. the protector appeared to us. and I trust them. so im gonna lean into the powers more. and also astarion wants to do it too. as if I needed more reason.

and lastly uhh. i wish it was easier to sell your shit. like the multi-select isn't enough. i wish it remembered what items you put into wares, and then would automatically add them when you get new ones of those items. also I'm bleeding every merchant dry. they cannot resist my cauldrons and copper pots and non-silver-silverware. also the plates. there are so many plates. and im kind of afraid that at some point the game is gonna be like "remember all that shit youve been storing? hope you have a lot of them because now you need them!"

and also I am talking to every rat and squirrel i meet. they are my friends.

oh and. for the longest time i thought the only way to move the characters in combat was to jump. lmao.

[slightlyhopefulromantic]

Samantha? Cause really curious about her in your au

send me mnmoms au asks pwease i need to talk about this au

samantha samantha my samantha <33 i could talk a LOT about samantha in my au. canonically, her main character trait is like... high intelligence, low wisdom, and thats about it. which usually is very sad, but for me specifically is great because it means i go crazystupid with her. i will try to be brief but HKFGDJHFJKD gonna preemptively assume this will have to go under a cut anyways tho, because i love to ramble !

as stated, samantha's main character traits in canon are like. ron's hot moron4moron wife, will fall for a nigerian prince scam, is very straightforward but kind. which is absolutely fantastic and i love her more than anything, but i needed more than that. so i made her god's favorite weirdgirl <3

samantha's class is a life domain cleric! i need to work out the exact details still (i think maybe something to do with samantha's jewelery since i always draw her with a very specific biiig golden necklace), but when she was transported to the forgotten realms, she was chosen by a low ranking goddess to receive her gifts of healing. i think she fits well to be the healer (though mercedes knows some low level bard heals as well), it fits her kindly therapist vibes. i did also, unfortunately, made her a "i could fix him (absolutely cannot)" girlie because you just gotta be honest. its so real for her. which i think also fits for a healer LMAO so shes the partys healer! you may be saying "hey, travis, arent clerics supposed to have high wisdom? didnt you say samantha is high intelligence, low wisdom?" and yes. they do. she is. this is a dungeons and daddies au. theyre not meant to be good at their jobs. in general, samantha is the optimist of the group - shes cheerful bordering on (and often crossing over into) full on ditzy, shes the 'people person' of the group so she is usually the one who is sent to sweet talk people along with mercedes, and shes just. everyones sunshine. shes level-headed, sweet, and a total doggirl. mercedes and morgan both call her "sammy" near exclusively, which i know could be heresy against the ronnie/sammy special nicknames headcanon, but i cannot help it. shes just a sammy to me.

shes also very very very convinced that she is the leader of their little group, but carol is convinced that she is the leader of their little group, and the two of them bicker about it constantly. theyre very in love but if samantha cant passively aggressively tell carol that actually, samantha was the one who got them out of the last kerfuffle no thanks to you, she will self-implode.

because of her therapist position, i wanted samantha to come off as a character that seems very put together, emotionally intelligent, and normal when you first meet her. however, as time goes on, you realize she is actually very silly and not... great... at emotions when it comes to herself. its kind of a fun opposite to her dear ronnie! plot-wise, shes on this roadtrip as a bonding exercise with her son, who she loves very dearly <3 they used to be extremely close, but ever since the death of her ex-husband, her and terry junior have struggled to see eye to eye. the main issue here is that she tends to go 'therapist mode' with her personal issues - she thinks she has to put terry's feelings first, so she only asks him how hes doing, how hes feeling, how can she help etc without ever showing her own feelings on the matter. in samantha's head, shes being a good mother by not putting her feelings onto her son. in terry junior's head, samantha is pretending that terry senior never existed in the first place. so samantha's character arc actually resembles darryl's in a lot of ways, where she has to learn to be emotionally vulnerable with her son!

i couLD SAY EVEN MORE THAN THAT BUT THIS IS ALREADY VERY LONG i have many sammy thoughts. shes my dear darling golden retriever girlfriend except actually i think she would be a chocolate lab because they are known for being friendly, affectionate, extremely playful-

[fruit-salad-ship]

Discord be talking DnD AU.

Grey - Cleric/Artificer. A studiour nervous sort, Half orc, half elf, he doesnt seem to fit anywhere, but given the chance will prove hes a very well read, very elequent man with a good heart. If only he could stop stammering when nervous.

Peach - Monk/Druid. Wandering the mountains was her life, she happily did this to grow herself. Socially a misfit, not at all well versed in etiquette. A Goliath woman who knows only survival. Now all she needs is a lesson on what NOT to say to strangers.

Plum - Bard/Rogue. Known in many towns for her jovial songs and melodies, this wood elf is keen to empty someones pockets, and vanish just as fast. Able to blend into any social setting, from high to low class. Could do with some toughening up.

They met in an inn, peach wandered from the plains to stock up on supplies and cash in some pelts, stopping for a drink before leaving. An annoying little creature wouldnt leave her alone, some pointy eared woman with a lute. She got too close to her too fast, and so the Goliath left quickly. Only a minute later as shes walking off up the road does she notice her druidic focus has been pick pocketed. The flash of that elf's smile in her personal space came to mind, storming back to find her and retrieve her item. A chase ensues, Plum dashing off fast, thinking she coudl outrun this woman. Peach however has monk speed, and managed to trail her to a local place of learning, a library of sorts. Inside plum tried to hide, but failed, gettign caught by this woman. Grey, looking up from his books notices the commotion and feels for the pair, knowing the guards would be called at this rate. He managed to deesculate the situation with his smooth talking, and the trio leave the building without fuss. He buys them drinks and tries to clear the air, perhaps settle their anger, and for what its worth, it works. He has never met a Goliath before, theyre a rarity in this area, he has a million questions, most of which peach is happy to answer, blunt is her thing. Meanwhile plums pickpokceted someone else, this time getting caught. The bar turns on her, and Grey pleads with Peach who's kicking back laughing at this foolish thiefs ways. He bought her a lot of drink and has been nothing but reasonable, so she's swayed to get involved, intimidating plum from the villagers grasp, and leaving promptly. The trio get chased out of town as soon as its clear they didnt take the rogue to hand her in, and are forced to travel on the road together to survive. well...Peach is fine alone, the other two tag along uninvited. peach calls plum 'rat thief', a name that sticks.

she has no social connotations and is very quick to say what shes thinking, no filter.

plum is a notorious flirt, and finds it irritating it doesnt work on this mountain of a woman, a mountain she has swore to climb herself, she's seen a lot, met many folks, but a goliath is new territory.

she's very quick to tease grey who is activley nervous around these women. one because she could crush him without trouble, the other because she could shank him without being seen. hes into both, but is too shy to do or say a word about it.

grey is gutted that he was run out of his home, his things left in the inn, unable to reclaim what he lost.

they get up to all sorts of shinanigans. mostly plum trying to get this idiot giant to sleep with her, while bullying grey for his clear crush that hes trying to be gentlemanly about. peach:oblivious to all.

[fandom-junk-drawer]

The Witcher Headcanon - Trouble Bonus Scene: Interlude 1

I wasn't ready to let go of baby!jaskier just yet. I'm thinking of writing more of these interludes as I think of more little baby!jaskier bonus scene ideas.

So here's the first one!

Pretty much what happened before the Witchers reached Yennefer's house.

Geralt is sitting by the fire, cleaning his sword, when Eskel comes crashing back through the trees, yelling his head off.

He's holding a baby, and is almost as white as a sheet.

Confusion swept through the camp.Where did Eskel get a baby from? Did he kidnap it? What is a baby doing out in the middle of the woods?

The first thing out of Lambert's mouth was "Good gods, Eskel, you can't just take a random baby you find in the woods! It's probably Fae! Go put it back where you found it before the mother comes after us!"

"IT'S JASKIER, YOU JACKA**! He's been cursed!"

*chorus of swearing*

"D*mn it, Eskel! You were supposed to be watching him!"

"I was! We were gathering firewood! He said he had to take a sh*t!"

"You weren't supposed to let him go off by himself!"

"I didnt'! He went like, ten feet into the bushes!"

"So you did let him go off by himself!"

"Oh, f**k you sideways with a blackthorn branch, Lambert! What was I supposed to do, stand right behind him and watch?!"

"F**k, Yennefer is going to kill us!" Coen moaned

"Shhhh! Shut your gob!" Lambert whispered fiercely in near panic, "Don't say her name out loud! You might f***ing summon her here!"

Geralt might have rolled his eyes as he took his miniature bard from Eskel, but he also refrained from mentioning her by name. You could never be too careful.

The camp was enveloped in tense silence.

"She doesn't have to know..."

All eyes turned to Geralt in an odd combination of surprise and hope. "We don't have to tell her. We can just stop at the next town and get their mage to break the curse."

"Yeah, yeah!" Coen said excitedly, " We can fix this ourselves! She never has to know. And we all get to live!"

There was a murmur of enthusiastic agreement. They decided that first thing in the morning, they were heading for the nearest town. For now, they had to figure out what to do with baby Jaskier.

The only experience most of them had with children, was trying to get away as quickly as possible from their frightened screams.

Babies were even harder to figure out. They couldn't talk. You just had to guess what the noises and various smells meant.

Then Coen voiced a very valid concern. "How are we going to feed him?" Everyone froze. "I mean, most babies don't eat solid food, right? Their mum's feed them. But we don't have a mum handy, so..." There was some uncomfortable shifting.

"We could always go find a mum and-!"

"We aren't going to steal a mum, Lambert!"

"I was going to say 'And ask her what to do' you c*ckwomble!"

"Wait, wait! He's got teeth!" Eskel said, after feeling inside Jaskier's mouth.

The Witchers: *relieved sighs*

Eskel felt something warm start soaking into his shirt. He thrust Jaskier out at arm's length and quickly turned him away from him. Witchers scattered to avoid the stream.

Eskel made the mistake of setting him down so Coen could rinse him off. Jaskier took a few toddling steps while Coen brought over a waterskin. "Aww, look, he can wal--!" Eskel began, and then ended with a curse as Jaskier took off, squealing and giggling.

He wasn't moving very fast, but it was hard for the Witchers to catch him. How could a child that could barely walk be so hard to catch?

The problem wasn't that he was fast; he could barely manage a stumbling run. The problem was that the Witchers were terrified that they were going to fall on him and crush him.

They just sort of hovered over him, following at a slow, awkward shuffling crouch, as they tried to herd him to where they wanted him. He kept slipping by them, toddling between their legs or pivoting in a random direction while they desperately tried not to trip on him.

No one really wanted to try to grab him by an arm, just in case they accidentally pulled it off. Babies were delicate, after all! No one wanted to be the one to have to explain to Yennefer why her Bardling was missing an arm.

He was rounded up after what felt like an eternity of close calls with the fire, pointy weapons, and assorted dangerous camp equipment.

Geralt and Eskel tied a rag round Jaskier's bottom while Lambert and Coen worked on cooking the rabbits they had caught earlier.

Jaskier started getting fussy, and kept squirming and whining. He ate a little of the rabbit and then clung to Geralt moodily.

"Gods, he whines and fusses as much as he did as a grown man!" Lambert remarked, covering his ears as the tiny bard cried.

"And he's just as clingy," Eskel added teasingly, earning a glower from Geralt. The white haired Witcher said nothing, but noted that Jaskier felt a little warm. But then again, babies were supposed to be warm, right?

He smelled different too. Was he sick? Was that a normal smell for babies?

Geralt put him down for a nap in a crib made from their saddles and a blanket. He thought they would have an hour or two to relax and fine tune their Fix It Before Yennefer Finds Out Plan, but, alas, it was not meant to be.

Lambert looked up from where he was poking at the fire to see that Jaskier had escaped the saddle pen, and was vomiting right by Roach's feet...

Roach leaned down and sniffed at the tiny human that had toddled unsteadily up to her. Her ears pricked forward as his hands patted at her nose. It smelled like Jaskier, but the human in front of her was little more than a foal.

She smelled the scent of magic on him. Ah, Witcher Business. Geralt would handle that part.

Roach was concerned. Jaskier was too little to be out on his own, and the Witchers didn't seem to be aware that he was wandering loose. She would just have to take care of him herself.

Besides, she'd always liked Jaskier. He annoyed Geralt (which amused her), he always gave her treats when Geralt wasn't looking, and he would always scratch that one itchy spot she could never reach.

The mare gently herded the foal against her leg when he tried to wander past her.

Foal Jaskier made a distressed sound and threw up at her feet. Then he started wailing. Roach nosed at him, trying to comfort him. She could smell that he was ill.

That was when the red haired Witcher shouted and hurried over.

Lambert, still shouting, ran over, reaching for Jaskier, and had to backpedal fast. Roach laced backed her ears, arched her neck and lunged forward, pawing and squealing angrily, putting herself between Lambert and Jaskier. Lambert barely avoided her teeth as she snapped at him.

Roach was not going to let this brute hurt this precious foal while she was around! No, sir! Mama Roach was not going to stand for it!

Lambert cursed and retreated when Roach turned her hindquarters to him, stamping and threatening to mule kick him into next month if he came any closer. The Witcher backed off and let Geralt deal with his b*tchy mare.

Geralt just walked up, ignoring Roach's posturing and snorting, and gathered the crying toddler into his arms. Roach backed off. She and Geralt both knew she wasn't going to do a d*mn thing to stop him. Geralt gave her a pat and told her she was a Good Girl for protecting Jaskier and promised he'd get her an apple from the market.

Geralt held the fussing baby while his brothers set up a small tent. He tried to get Jaskier to drink some of the broth from the stew, but he kept turning his head away.

Geralt knew babies often threw up, but he was still starting to worry. Was he sick, or had he just swallowed too much air while he'd been eating? Was that a thing? Was he supposed to have burped him? Did he even need to be burped? Was that normal baby warmth, or was it fever?

He finally took him into the tent and managed to get him to sleep. Geralt dozed off at some point, but was awakened when Jaskier started to cry. The Witcher groggily sat up, thinking the toddler had dirtied the rag diaper.

Then he smelled it. The inside of the tent was filled with the sour reek of bile. Jaskier was hot when Geralt touched him.

F**K!

Geralt's oath drew the attention of his brothers, and they turned to see Geralt scrambling out of the tent, holdng the feverish child.

"We need to leave. Now." Geralt rumbled, yellow eyes filled with worry as the Witchers gathered around him. "There's something wrong with him!"

"Let's get him to the Healer in Aldersberg, it's closer-!" Eskel began.

"No," Geralt said quickly, cutting him off. He grimaced as if biting into sour fruit, "We need real help..."

The Witchers all cringed and shifted uncomfortably. They knew they were probably riding to their collective gruesome deaths, but they rushed to break camp.

Jaskier threw up on Lambert while he was holding him so Geralt could saddle an impatiently stamping Roach. It smelled foul, and Lambert nearly threw up too. Inspite of the smell, he didn't stop to change his shirt, he just handed Jaskier up to Geralt and silently mounted up.

Minutes later, they were riding hard for Vengerberg.

The party stopped only to let the horses rest, and to try to get Jaskier's fever down. The baby bard drank a little of the milk they had bought while passing through Aldersberg, and then projectile vomited on Lambert.

The red-haired Witcher, though somewhat exasperated, had nevertheless been a tiny bit impressed. He'd only ever seen grown men spew like that. He changed his shirt, and soaked the clean parts in water to run over Jaskier's face and back, trying to cool him down.

One of Geralt's spare shirts was torn up and used as a diaper after they had to stop so Geralt could change his pants when his lap was abruptly soaked in 'the brown water'.

His face went whiter than his hair. Geralt's soul tried to yeet itself from his body in self-defense. The stink, the warm, oozing wetness, the runny, mushy consistency...

0/10 would not want to do that again. Ever.

He wordlessly passed the dripping baby to Coen, then slid from the saddle and went to change his pants, arms held away from his body and moving in a slow shuffle, walking as if broom handles had been shoved up both pant legs

Roach and the other horses stood by watching curiously as their riders made various exclamations of horror and disgust, as the sopping rag slid down the screaming foal's legs and landed with a wet splat in the grass. They began running to and fro in agitated panic as they tried to deal with the messy blow out.

The brown haired one was trying to carry the soiled rag away on the end of an awkwardly long stick, while the bald one held the foal out at arm's length while looking both lost and disgusted. The red haired one tried to clean the foal off by pouring water on him while trying to stay as far away as possible.

The brown haired one came back and reluctantly tried to assist as the other two tried to clean foal Jaskier off by wetting him down and dragging his botton through the grass.

Roach's Geralt returned from changing into his spare trousers, and rescued the indignantly screeching foal from the three idiots. He wiped him off with a vomit stained shirt, then wrestled him into the makshift diaper.

The Witchers got the bright idea to stuff the new rag diaper with big wads of grass. The result was a bulky, lumpy, messy affair that made Jaskier look like he had a comically large bum that was sprouting grass in some places. It wasn't pretty, but it would do for the remainder of the ride.

They were quite pleased with themselves. The haphazard design ended up being a stroke of genious. When ever Jaskier dirtied the diaper, all they had to do was dump the grass out and stuff it with more!

Roach died a little inside at the waste of every perfectly good handful of grass that was stuffed into the diaper.

Jaskier spent most of the journey fussing or sleeping fitfully. By the time they could see the gates of Vengerberg, he had been crying almost non-stop. They rode fast throught the streets, letting the crowds get out of the way as best they could.

After what seemed like a harrowing eternity they were jumping from their saddles and crowding around Yennefer's front door.

There they hesitated for just a moment, looking at eachother with varying degrees of dread. This was it. Take one last look at your brothers, boys, because we are all going to die. But at least we are going to go out together!

Geralt nodded to his brothers, then bravely stepped forward and started pounding on the door and shouting for Yennefer.

They heard the ominous sound of the witch's bootheels on the floor. It sounded like a Death Knell. Doom was approaching! They instinctively drew closer together, and then the front door was flying open and Yennefer was snarling "Oh, gods, not you f**kwits! What the h*ll do you want?"

And then Geralt, his face a mask of worry, was rumbling helplessly "Yen, you've got to help him!"

[evelynnendless]

Random Kisses

THIS IS SO CRINGE IM SO FUCKING SORRY ;=; I LOST THE ACTUAL ONE AND I DIDNT WANT TO NOT POST ON THE FIRST DAY OF DECEMEBER. (And i IM SO SORRYY!!! Also.. I just based Bennett and Chongyun off their voice lines and other people’s ffs.

Bennett

-Receiving : He would be busy whenever his s/o gave him a kiss, whether it was explaining what he was going to do with his day or telling about it. He often get shy and smiled at you pecking your temple. 

“I’m sorry I got lost in my story again, you did ask about my day.”

-Giving : He would be the type to shyly ask you or if he did it randomly say sorry if you were in shock. Be a shy baby and you have to reassure him that you don’t mind it.

“I’m sorry I didn't mean to disturb you!”

Childe/Tartaglia

-Receiving : Childe would be really shocked but insanely happy about you catching him off guard. He smiles at you and hold you close giving you a kiss back. Honestly he would want you to do it more often whenever you had the chance.

“Ah, you caught me off guard! I don’t mind, I want you to keep doing these more often. Want to make a bet who can give more kisses?”

-Giving : This guy... He would be staring at you while you eat or talk then peck your lips randomly. The kisses would be rare since he is always off doing his own business. 

“Did I catch you off guard? I’m sorry, you just looked so cute talking.”

Chongyun

-Receiving : Chongyun would be a bit nervous after he feels your lips, he would be in the middle of talking as he goes quiet. He would be the type to cover his face and look at you through his fingers.

“Y-Ya you cant just do that! I was in the middle of talking! W-Was it boring? No? Oh okay, I’ll keep talking but don't cut me off like that!”

-Giving : Chongyun would really give random kisses, he already would be questioning how he would kiss you. You would have to be paying attention to him so he would make a move.

“I don't know how you do it, you make it look so easy. Or is it just me?”

Diluc

-Receiving : Diluc would be caught off guard since he is sometimes lost in his thoughts. Feeling your lips on either his or face, he would try not to blush to much as you can feel the heat coming off of him.

“I’m fine, it’s just getting hot in here... yes I can get hot too, don't laugh!!”

-Giving : Diluc would be the type to give temple kisses and it would be when you guys are enjoying a drink together. He would lean over as he smiles a bit seeing you blush or turn to him. 

“Nothing is wrong with me, can I not just kiss you?”

Kaeya

-Receiving : Kaeya’s confidence would be raised even more when he feels your lips against his. He would smirk at you before pulling you back and kissing you again. 

“If you wanted a kiss, you should have asked. Would have gotten a proper one” 

-Giving : You would never see or hear him coming, legit this man disappears and appears out of no where. He would catch you when you were doing something or lost in your own thoughts.

“Hmm? Nothing I just saw you here, I can’t give you kisses?”

Razor

-Receiving : Razor would be shocked and become nervous when he sees you. He would look at you panicked as you see his face red and confused from what you just did.

“H-Hey don't just do that out of no where!”

-Giving : Razor, I feel you would notice him trying to decide whether he was going to do it or not. That or he wouldn't give your random kisses, more random nuzzles instead.

“I just miss your presence... You been gone from my side for too long.”

Aether

-Receiving : He would be surprised at first since he was planning on one of his quests for the day. After seeing your face, he would smile softly before greeting you.

“Hey, I was just about to head out. Do you want to come with me?”

-Giving : Aether would be more hesitant about it but when he does its when you notice him thinking about it before actually doing it. Even if you expect it, its still nice to see him become nervous before doing it.

“I-I just wanted to show you how much you mean to me, I really appreciate you..”

Scaramouche

-Receiving : You cant really sneak up on him, being said he has that damn hat on all the time. Probably when you are watching him work, you can probably get a chance to give him a kiss. 

“Ah if you wanted my attention you could have asked for it, idiot. Well you have it fully now, do you want more?”

-Giving : Scara probably would be messing with you and kiss you once randomly on the cheek or lips. That smirk would be on his lips the whole time as he teases you about it.

“I caught you off guard, you have to work on that before someone else catches you off guard.”

Venti 

-Receiving : He. Would. Love. It. He would really love that you were planning to give him kisses and tease you about it. Even if it was you who got him off guard, he would find a way to tease you the whole time.

“Awww give me more kisses! Are you going to plan more? Especially whenever I come back to Mondstandt?”

-Giving : This bard.... He would use the winds to indicate that he is there and give your cheeks kisses. Laughing it off as he asked what you were doing, ( he was probably watching before he came to you )

“What? You don't like my kisses ? Come on I really got you that time!”

Xiao 

-Receiving : Xiao would be the one to catch you before you kiss him, he asks you what were you planning. There are times you do catch up and he would get embarrassed and turn away from you, quietly enjoying that you were trying to get his attention. 

“What do you think you are doing? … N-No I don't like it! What if I hurt you because you scared me??”

-Giving : Xiao wouldn't be the type to give random kisses. I don’t really see him doing anything else without your consent or attention.

“Hmm? You seem out of it, everything okay?”

Xingqui 

-Receiving : This boy would just smile to himself when he feels your presence, he would look at you and close his book paying attention. 

“Well hello, how are you ? Did you have any trouble getting here?”

-Giving : You two would be enjoying time together, he would look over from his book and give you a small peck. 

“*laugh* Are you enjoying your book?”

Zhongli

-Receiving : Zhongli would be expecting it, he knows your habits after two times of doing it. He feel the kiss as he smiles before he opens his eyes to see you, he feel appreciated and content with your presence. 

“I didn’t say it was bothering me, but tell me what have you done today or plan to do.”

-Giving : He isn't the type of person to give random kisses, the kisses you both share have each others’ full attention. If he did give them, they would be forehead kisses whenever you are sitting in silence.

“Sorry, I couldn't resist. Did I snap you out of your thoughts?”

[ayuki-ikuya]

I come bringing ideas and headcanons.

OK, so we all already know what The Three oldest archons abilities. So I’ve come up with my own ideas we could use for the younger archons! (And yes I’m grouping Ei, Venti and Zhongli as the older siblings since Ei Is 1000 years old Venti is 2,500 and Zhongli is 5,000-6,000 and the other archons are still in the hundreds I think)

Again these aren’t canon just stuff you can use for future Requests for Twisted wonderland x Teyvat God! Reader

For Dendro archon!Reader

Definitely a Bow User. And Is a Healer. But the their Ult can cause damage

I have a theory That during the Archon War The dendro Archin created the Regisvines to fight for them, and only two were left. I also Headcanon The dendro archon can bring plants to life and overwrite what each plant can do. (Maybe even bring mushrooms to life 👀).

Maybe They can create a giant plant from the ground that spreads Healing energies and since this is a god where talking about can Cure Curses (Ahem Vils Curses Ahem) and major Diseases and what not.

For Their Ult maybe a giant plant monster (kinda like how Gouba and Oz exists ) that will attack for them (could make for fun combos with different elements like if the dendro archon was wet Hydro Plant monster)

For Hydro archon!reader

Polearm or sword (theirs way too many Hydro Catalyst) Healer and Dps, Why? Cause I say so.

You’ve mentioned how Hydro archon summons a giant wave? I’ll do you one better and their E skill summons a giant sea creature of your choosing to soak the fighters (A cool visual is their polearm turning into a big dream catcher then going swoosh and Baam Maybe like A giant Water Koi fish finna drown your ass *ahem ace ahem*)

Now mihoyo likes to reference Their character form honkai impact into genshin impact (and since they took a characters look from Honkai and another characters abilities with the whole Dual ego thing for Raiden shogun and Ei) I’m gonna base this Ultimate Skill From a character from Honkai (for research search up Herrsercher of Sentience)

Since the Hydro archons whole thing is about Justice. Now here me out here. WATER WHIP. Just a giant whip of water that can go on for miles (maybe it’s salty maybe it’s like fresh water depends on our readers mood lolol). Like, It’s whip of water strong enough to cut diamond or whatever it would be very cool (Kalim would wanna see if he could do something like that with his UM Que jamil trying to stop him)

Maybe their hair turns into water too.

Pyro archon! Reader

Claymore. A Big strong war god needs a big strong weapon. Dps and Defense.

Now It’s not just one claymore, It’s DUAL-CLAYMORE, why? Cause it’s a war god that’s why!

I like to think the shield is like Xinyans and XiangLings combined and it’s constantly sending off tiny Fire Discs. Or just symbols shooting fire like what the Pyro Abyss mages can do

For Ultimate I like to think it’s like Childes Daggers but Bigger and on fire just a huge sword made of fire.

The pyro archon doesn’t think just BURNS. and STABE

Cryo archon! Reader

I can’t really come up with much for Cryo archon. But maybe a Catalyst that can summon a giant blizzard that drops down giant ice swords (kinda like Ganyus)

Definitely a sub DPS.

Maybe a healer too since The Tsaritsa is The archon of love?

What do you think about these abilities? Since you mentioned that the students and staff would assume their just strong mages I tried to be very creative with these abilities.

Also how I think the lore could go is maybe somewhere after leonas overblot and before azuls, Crowly has found a way to send Yuu home reluctantly. Yuu, grim and the aduece duo, and maybe some of heartslaybul or savana claw whoever you want come with them to the office to send them home. But Yuu is contemplating whether or not they WANT to go home now. But something goes wrong, maybe grim messes up the spell for the portal to work becuase (although he doesn’t want to admit it ) doesn’t want Yuu leaving, and their greeted with a surprise guest. Now this gives Yuu time to decide if they genuinely wanna go home and when teh archon finally has the materials they need to create a portal Yuu will tell them to leave the portal open (maybe put it into a tiny pocket mirror like the how we have the teapot) because they wanna stay for a little while or just until grim graduates (Que a happy fire cat ) and the archon whose grown attached to some people here was like ok “let our friends visit whenever they want, only if their headmaster allows it”

Now onto the headcanons

Anemo Archon! Reader and Mondstadt! Yuu

Everyone expected a lot of things not a person with Green eyes and (H/C) hair with green highlights. And an odd thing about them was the glowing stone on their person, Yuu didn’t have that?

Everyone’s freaking out because they’ve accidentaly taken another person from Yuus world.

And since Venti Is a well known famous bard In teyvat let’s say or Dear (y/N) is also a known bard and is not at all freaking out about what’s going on in fact let’s say our dear reader recognizes Yuu! And so now (Y/N) is now a new student (and a new headache for Crowley) in the ramshackle dorm! Yup! Just an ordinary human bard, Ehe~.

I’ll leave the rest of this up to you, Where Yuu has to explain what the world of teyvat is like (and why Yuu doesn’t have a phone (and a vision) because Twisted wonderland is far more advance in Technology and teyvat has JUST invented the Camera)

Also I head canon that people with Visions can summon their weapons and object with their visions, ok? Ok. To make things make more sense when reader pulls out a lyre from floating glitter.

Geo archon!reader and Liyue! Yuu

Same things happend here, but hey! We’ve summoned a Funeral Consultant! A very (ahemATTRACTIVEahem) Wise funeral consultant at best!

Our dear Friend (y/n) is very calm about the situation as well. After all everyone and liyue knows their god was killed and The Adepti are watching over them

So Our dear reader is seeing this as a free vacation 😊

Electro Archon!Reader and Inazuma!yuu

Since the god of Inazuma isn’t “Dead” or hasn’t left and the people know what their beloved archon looks like, Yuu will definitely Be Freaking the fuck out

“YOU DIDNT BRING ME HOME YOU JUST SUMMONED MY PEOPLES FUCKING GOD OH SHIT”

insert the meme of the womens face that gets zoomed in on the second panel “the. WHAT.” 😃

And y’know how Eis “Hello” voice line where she makes the traveler her guard she says the same thing to Yuu except “I recognize you are one of my people as your archon I shall be your guard and keep you safe from any danger in this Foreign world” and let’s say The puppet will not be used and Reader will be in control becuase they don’t have to worry about erosion right now so the puppet will be resting while (Y/N) is in control protecting their Precious Inazuma citizen is ok.

Well until They can get the materials they need to open a portal. I’ll let you figure out the rest, but congrats ramshackle you now have a god in your abode 😃✨

-Plot Anon 💗

PLOT ANON-SAMAAAAAAAAAA ILY!!!!!!!!! Thank you for your hard work sob

Anyways, for skills of the archons-

Dendro Archon

I think they'd use a sword or a catalyst tbh, if the skills you listed, it makes a little more sense to have them be more of a catalyst

For their elemental skill, I think they'd summon/throw something similar to Klee's and Aloy's elemental skill except they heal if someone in your party is nearby, their healing could scale by their EM or ER.

For their burst, I like your head canon for the Dendro Archon, so I might go off from that and your idea for their burst, just more tweaking. The dendro archon would be able to summon a large plant that heals AND deals Dendro damage by sapping mobs hp. The amount of life sapping it does and the healing would scale off their original HP (artifacts that give hp won't be of use)

Hydro Archon

I agree with hydro polearm or sword. Too many catalysts

Mmm... To be honest, I think you should have the burst be her skill... The whip idea is intriguing, but I think it would work more for a skill which can allow them to use it several times before waiting for the CD to go down. I think the whip skill would work better with Crit as well.

AND AS FOR THE MENTIONS OF WAVE AND A SEA CREATURE, I'LL DO YOU ONE BETTER BUT FOR THEIR BURST!!!! They summon a large tsunami which takes form of a monster/animal and lunges at the mobs (similar to Zhongli tossing down a dumbbell), however the amount of damage the burst can do is depending on if they are afflicted by the wet status the mobs are afflicted by. If already afflicted with hydro, the mobs would receive double damage while those with other elements afflicted on them would receive the element combination DMG and normal DMG while those that aren't affected by an element, they would receive normal damage. The amount of damage the burst does is scaled by EM.

Pyro Archon

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA CLAYMORE

Hmmm.... I think the skill would be they set an AoE with magma, mobs will receive damage from it and will continue to receive damage if they stay on it, but those who are in party, they will receive an ATK boost that scales from HP.

For the burst, I think I'll use a character from Honkai Impact with their special move which is Murata Himeko in Vermilion Knight: Eclipse battlesuit. Pyro Archon uses their claymore and another claymore but made of pyro and is far more larger and their cut scene has the Archon raise the pyro claymore above their head and slam it down to send pyro erupting from the ground (similar to the pyro axe wielding hilichurls)

Cryo Archon

I agree with catalyst

Mmmmmm.... I'd say her skill would beeeeee... Trapping several mobs or so in ice. They can either do 2-4 ice traps depending if you got their c1. (The ice traps are similar to Mirror Maidens traps BTW but it deals or affects the mobs with cryo)

For burst, I like the idea of summoning a blizzard/swords, but it's similar to Ganyu's. SO I'LL DO YOU ONE BETTER!!!! Cryo Archon will summon a blizzard which freezes mobs without having to use hydro, the freeze status lasts for a total of 15 seconds or higher if you got their c3

Hmmm... I like the idea, but imma tweak it a bit. The archon was in fact summoned through that portal because Grim decided to mess it up just for Yuu to stay a little longer, and so the Archon now resides in Twisted Wonderland as well in order to aide them until they can return back to their world. That way it makes more sense and makes it more fun.

Anemo archon

Yuu would be a bit jealous about them because they got a vision.

Crowley needs to hide his money

Sam has been strictly told to not give them wine that Sam stores in his shop...

Vargus is conflicted about them because they legit float without magic

Trein recurved a major headache

Divus is praying to whatever god existing to take them back

Ehe

EHE TE NANDAYO!?

Geo Archon

Yuu feels awkward meeting the consultant of the funeral parlor having to meet the Director...

Crowley is praying for dear god for them to go away.

"STOP TAKING MY MONEY YOU GORGEOUS FIEND" - Crowley

Train + Crewel + You = Besties

Sam was literally threatened to not joke around with you with business.

You legit did not fuck around with people when in contracts.

"Osmanthus wi-"

"SHUT THE HELL UP" - everyone

Electro Archon

Yuu is literally terrified in "your" presence.

Shogun malfunctioned due to being in an entirely new world so you had to disable Shogun's rules and create new ones regarding this world.

Yuu is still unaware of Shogun being a puppet

Crowley is no longer safe.

The staff (specifically Crewel) is supporting Shogun/You to beat Crowley's ass into shape.

Only the Diasomnia dorm knows your predicament with you and your puppet(s).

You are the definition of Queen/King/Royalty of the school. If you search up NRC, your picture literally plastered on it as the definition.